Gratitude: Awakening the Sense of Wonder
Yes, the action of displaying meaningful gratitude can be fostered with intention and habit. Yet, when a person experiences an awe-inspiring moment, true thanksgiving can erupt all on its own. As the mother of boys, I’m on high-alert to ensure my sons say 'thank you' when appropriate. Sure, there are times I’ll take a mumbled-with-an-eye-roll utterance of gratitude just so we can all move on; but hopefully, the hounding to outwardly convey they are on the receiving end of something sinks in on a deep level ...even if it doesn’t surface for the next few years.
While raising boys with decent manners is important to me, even more so, I want my children to feel that glorious surge of undeniable gratitude that they are participating in life on this earth. It’s the unbridled flash of time when I see them soar—artistically, athletically, or just by helping someone else—that I can see their gratitude light-bulb tink on. When my boys have a clear sense of who they are, what they can do, and who they can help, they witness the power of their purpose. What do they reap from this elusive 'ah-hah' moment? Inevitably—and all on their own I may add—my boys express gratitude.
The place a boy learns at can have a major impact on the gratitude-inspiring opportunities he can seize. Theodate Pope Riddle, Founder of Avon Old Farms School, theorized: “Only by an awakened sense of wonder may a youth become aware of his relation to the universe” (Deed of Trust, xxxiii). When students are given the space, freedom, and tools to tap into that pure essence of reverence, then they can better understand and be grateful for their place in the world.
We asked a few Avon Old Farms students to look within and describe a snippet of time when they were mindful of their place in the experience. We then asked them to look outside of themselves and share what they are grateful for.
Reza Badiee '19: First Flight
As part of Avon Old Farms' expanding technology curriculum, the Aerospace Engineering class visited Robertson Airport to pilot airplanes over the school campus. Students toured the facility, were guided through the mechanical checklist for safe take-off, and eventually flew alongside the instructors.
There's nothing quite like the feeling of guiding a vehicle through the open air. Reza describes his moment in time:
"My heart was pounding out of my chest. Having the control wheel in my hands, manning a 1,669-pound machine creates a feeling like no other. At the moment of take-off, I started to feel butterflies, my heart began to race, and my hands became shaky. Once we took off and were in the air, I had a smile that reached from one ear to another. It was indeed an experience I will cherish for the rest of my life.
In life, I am grateful for my family, friends, and everyone I have come in contact with. I firmly believe that I can learn and benefit from every human being I meet."
Nick Keroack '18: Service and Impact
Students at Avon Old Farms learn how to be involved and make a difference. The Outreach Program provides boys with those gems of opportunities when they can contemplate their role in relation to helping others.
Nick Keroack took time out of his busy schedule filled with singing and guitar, maintaining stellar grades, and playing varsity hockey to volunteer at a local homeless shelter. Nick reminisces about his involvement:
"I was thinking how different these peoples' lives were from mine, but how we're all people and think the same jokes and say the same things. It was uplifting connecting with these very grateful and nice people. I felt so lucky to have been blessed with what I have been given and my family. It made me want to impact these people's lives in a positive way, and help them as much as I can.
In life you can get caught up in the little things, but when I see people who have been in tragic accidents or who have had some tough curveballs in their life, it makes me realize how grateful I am to be healthy, have a loving family, and have the gifts I have been blessed with."
Mouhamed Ndiaye '18: Working Hard and Seizing the Moment
A number of athletes from Avon Old Farms, the best New England boarding school for boys, have gone on to celebrate major professional victories. Most recently, George Springer '08 of the Houston Astros was awarded the World Series Willie Mays Most Valuable Player Award on November 1, 2017. However, on that same day, ESPN SportsCenter featured current student Mo Ndiaye's epic bicycle kick in the show's Top Ten Plays segment. Mo has been a vital member of Avon Old Farms' varsity soccer team for the last three years and was named to the All American East Team, scheduled to play in Orlando, Florida on December 2, 2017.
Hard work, grit, and the pure love of a particular sport can collide in a split-second decision to nail the perfect play. Mo depicts what was going through his mind as he scored:
"I was so happy, soccer is the one thing I love to do. I was thinking that this year is very important for me. Also, in that moment, I was in the middle of three players—I didn't have space to control a turn, the only thing I could do was to play two-touch. When I was running inside the 18, I was thinking to use my head if it was a cross-ball. But after, in my mind, everything changed very quickly. Because of my teammates, I decided to make that bicycle kick. They make me work hard, they are always here to help me.
I am grateful to God, who helps and teaches me the way to achieve my dream. I'm thankful to my teammates and to all the people who came to support us that day."
T. J. Shaw '18: Staying In Character
Performing for a crowd of peers is an exercise in vulnerability and courage. Actors dig into a pure part of themselves in order to empathize with the characters they portray. At the New England private high school Avon Old Farms, the theater program doesn't shy away from presenting the entire student body with contemplative works. Actors, as well as audience members, walk away from performances with a retrospective mindset to their own role in this world.
Lead actor T.J. Shaw magnificently presented the shadow side of a young man on a journey into his darkness in the Old Farms Theater's production of Rope, by Patrick Hamilton. He describes the tension in this frame:
"What was going through my mind at this moment was split. My primary concern was preparing to deliver my next line. However, I had just previously looked up and seen my parents sitting in the front row which made me calmer and allowed me to stay in character.
I'm grateful for my friends, family, and people who I have encountered at school. All of them have always looked out for me and kept my best interest at heart. I'm also thankful that I am a person who has been fortunate to experience success and has the opportunity to teach others to help them achieve their goals."
Chris Zhang '20: Journey Into Darkroom Photography
Space to create can open up the channel to the marvel of self-expression. At Avon Old Farms, the arts thrive. Students can explore a variety of outlets to discover their artistic talents and hone them in programs under the guidance of professionals.
Visiting artist Ty Morin introduced students to the intricate process of creating tin-type photos using his truck-camera. Chris recalls his creative journey:
"I was surprised when I finally saw what we had done. It was a fantastic print, not to mention this was my first time working with a mobile camera obscura truck. What really enamored me of darkroom photography is its unpredictability: there are so many variables that will affect the final print, so a good one is especially rare. Because of this, there was nothing in my brain except complete amazement at this moment.
Through my life at Avon, I am really grateful for the support from the teachers. They try their best to keep us interested and aspired; they are willing to answer all of the questions you have or help whenever you need."
Key Takeaway
According to the Webster Dictionary, the word grateful means to be "appreciative of benefits received." The "awakened sense of wonder" described by Avon Old Farms' founder Theodate Pope Riddle can be likened to gratitude. For decades, Theodate's students have been given pathways to explore gifts and grasp opportunities to discover more about their world and their role in it. Her boys say thank you when it is appropriate. Her boys also feel and express an inspiring sense of deep thanksgiving for what they have been given ...and for simply being present in the moment to experience it.